Comment
I am so sick and tired of the attitude Christian girls have about their lives. I have seen so many girls in the church who don’t understand their calling. What I mean by that is that so many girls in the church spend all their time and effort thinking about marriage. While I truly believe in the amazing gift that marriage is and I hope to someday get married myself I want to say to all you girls out there, what if you never get married? I want you to honestly ask yourself, are you living a life dependent on marriage. So many of the christian girls I meet seem to have this assumption that they will get married in the future and until then they don’t really have much to do but prepare for their marriage. What if you lived YOUR life and what God called you to RIGHT NOW!? You are first and foremost (whether you’re a man or a woman) called to have a relationship with GOD. I think so few women really give themselves over to God completely. Its like they are holding out on God, saving a spot in their hearts and minds for their future husband. While I have so much more I could say on that for now I am going to stop there.
I’m frustrated with the idea that a Godly woman’s purpose is to get married, have babies, and be a servant to everyone. Let me be so bold as to ask, how is this much different from the chauvinism of the fifties? There are literally hundreds of women serving in church kitchens and nurseries but where are the christian women in the “real world”? Here I would like to let you read something I wrote this morning as I was journaling. If you don’t like it, tough cookies cause I don’t give a crap. This is my blog and I’ll say what I want. (With love of course, I love you all but I need to rant somewhere)
So here, a monologue by me:
I refuse to live with the so called “gentle-spirit” women are told is an ideal and Godly woman. I will love but I will love like Katniss Everdeen, kicking and screaming, running, shooting and scratching to protect that love. My life will never be about being a “kind” and “gentle” woman. I refuse to aim for being a “nice girl”. I want the best thing people say about me not to be “she was so nice to everyone” but “She lived with an amazing passion I wish I had”. I want to be known as the Girl on Fire.
Yes there is a part of me that longs for tenderness and deep relationships and my heart breaks for the pain and suffering I see but I will not let my service to the earth be serving coffee at church. My life’s calling is not attending pot lucks and I was not created to do dishes. My dreams are not changing diapers and I know God gave me power, strength and passion to change the world.
My role is not to make everyone happy and to always be smiling.
I will not aim for nice.
I will not settle for serving.
I will fight.
And I will change the way people think about a woman who is in a relationship with God.
I am not a godly woman. I am a woman who is blessed. I am not going to turn down my eyes and be known as someone’s wife or mother.
I will be known as a DAUGHTER of the PASSIONATE
FURIOUS
JEALOUS
AWESOME
INCOMPREHENSIBLE
ALL-POWERFUL
CREATIVE GENIUS OF LOVE
who is my God
My life is not about becoming a good wife or a good mother. My life is about falling in love with God. And that is an insane adventure that I am going on because I want GOD not because I want the imaginary happiness people seem to think comes with living the white-bread, picket-fence suburban christianity that tells women that their life is for marriage.
I don’t want a husband. I want GOD.
God’s love
As I was walking home from Safeway a few days ago I was struck with a very profound revelation to the identity and heart of our creator. I’ve heard over and over again the question that if God is a truly loving God, how can he let things like rape and murder happen to the children He supposedly loves? I’ve been blessed with an answer to this question which is that, as sad as it is, giving humans free will not only means we choose whether or not we want to follow God’s rules about respecting our parents or not committing adultery or lying but that we also have the option to hurt one another. As tragic as it is, some people choose to hurt others and having free will means they have that as a choice they can make.
To many people it just doesn’t make sense, how can God allow this pain to happen if He loves us so much? What I was struck with when I was thinking about this wasn’t an answer to this question as much as a revelation of God’s perspective. I suddenly realized my entire life I had an image of a God who said, “Well you want to hurt yourselves? Go ahead, I won’t stop you.” I without realizing it I had been living my life ignoring how God feels about my pain. I’ve always been so wrapped up in how my being hurt affects ME that I never stopped to think about how it hurts God. I’ve lashed out in my pain to God, calling out, “how could you let this happen to me!?” but I never thought about it until now, when people say our actions hurt God. That sounds so cliché, and maybe a bit like a guilt trip, that our sins hurt God but I was thinking about the love our creator has for us and I got to glimpse at what He really feels toward us and our sin.
Imagine the incredible heartbreak of seeing your greatest creation, your beloved children, turning against each other and literally killing each other. The incredible suffering God must feel at knowing that He has the power to keep us all from hurting each other but to exercise that power would mean taking away our freedom and our ability to choose good on our own. Have you ever been in a situation where someone you loved was in pain and there was nothing you could do to protect them? I think God’s broken heart for us is like that only much much bigger. I was amazed to realize the gravity and truth of the statement that our sin breaks God’s heart. I can’t even begin to explain the insane love I realized at that moment, realizing God’s suffering and pain at seeing the crown jewel in His work not only reject Him but then turn and tear apart itself. And the worst part is that He had to let us do that if we were to have true free will, if choosing a relationship with Him were to have any real significance, be any real choice. No wonder He was so willing to send Jesus as a sacrifice, to bring us back, to stop us in our destruction.
I’ve reached a point in my relationship with God where I know I will never be able to doubt His existence. I know for a fact that God is real. By His grace I have moved to a point where I am learning the depth of His love for me. I’m grateful for this chance to see and share the depth of His suffering because it only strengthens in me the amazing reality of His crazy intense and perfect love for me.
No matter what you believe I hope that you will know that you are loved, so much more than you can comprehend.
Hey guys! So due to the business of the week and the fact that I am sick there is no Runekeepers update this week. Sorry. I hope you all have a great Christmas! I’m thinking of updating with two pages next week so maybe that will happen.
Hey guys! Sorry but this week’s page isn’t gonna make it up today… I have been doing some traveling and my sketch didn’t make it with me so now I gotta make a new one and find a scanner before I can make the next page. I’ll try to get it up tomorrow, again sorry. Hope you all are having a great Friday!
HELLO! Sorry, I didn’t realize earlier but if anyone is just now reading this I realized that the link to the first comic is NOT the link to the beginning of Runekeepers. Also the Characters pages are not the characters in Runekeepers…Hahaha. Sorry for the confusion but if you want to start at the beginning of RUNEKEEPERS then you need to click HERE. If you just want to read my four panel comics then go ahead and click on the “first” link. Either way I hope you enjoy it.